For pictures at 26-H, click here.)
For Theta Zeta pictures in general, click here.)
How To Get To 26H
(or How I Got There The First Time--A True Story)
- Go to 7-11 and find some drunk
over 21 years old. Explain
that you left your ID back at your apartment (you live in
Foxridge), and you don't feel like going back to get it. Give
said person several dead presidents and ask him/her to buy
you four bottles of Mad Dog. Insist that you really
are over
21, and that they wouldn't be able to sell it if no one over
21 really drank Mad Dog.
- Go to Burger King/McDonalds
and buy your favorite beef
product. Throw away bun. Eat if not vegetarian. If
vegetarian, protest and whine about how McDonalds or
Burger King is
raping mother earth by not using the latest crop rotation
techniques.
- Pour Mad Dog into BK/McD cup and get on bus
(Tom's Creek B).
Drink fast!
Ignore comments from front
of bus. ("Do you smell kiwi?"
"Did someone leave a bag of rotting fruit on the bus?")
- Try to ignore the
back and forth motion of the bus.
Back and forth, side to side, like floating on a cloud, gently,
gently.
- Vomit
- Get off bus when driver
asks to avoid confrontation with
pigs.
- Ask dorks in biker shorts riding by on 10 speeds
and $600
mountain bikes if they know how to get to Terrace View.
- If on Tom's Creek Road, walk towards
smell of cow shit.
- If you can't smell cow shit, don't panic.
Figure out way to
get back to Blacksburg.
- If anyone you're with becomes unable to continue
beause they
"just want to sit down for a minute", tell them OK, suggest
they lay down, and when they close their eyes,
run!
- If you get to 7-11, go in and steal candy bars.
- Ask how old the hot dogs are and if you can use the
bathroom. If they say they don't have one, point out that
the health code requires them to have
at least one bathroom.
Do not buy anything! When you're trashed,
$4.00 sounds
reasonable for a can of beefaroni, but resist!
- Walk out of 7-11 and walk east.
- Turn around and walk back toward 7-11
when you see Kroger.
Or, go in and steal eggs, making sure to take
only one from
any carton, so some townie can't make enough scrambled eggs
to feed their toothless husband and 10 kids.
- Go west.
- Follow noise.
- Look for laundry room.
- If anyone is doing laundry, be sure to
look for anything
good, and bring rest to party next door and throw on floor.
Seriously, if you can't get to Terrace View,
then you shouldn't be
allowed to leave your dorm room.
--Darren Moore.
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